The Results Are In

Okay, the results are. I also thought it was the blood-sucking, crazily enormous, eight legged, monster eyed, scary ass hell mosquitoes that gave me the swollen lip. I thought about it for a long time and realized it was not a mosquitoe, but Saki was doing some kung-fu moves one night and threw a chuck norris roundhouse kick (you know the one where Michael used to practice when jumping on lily's bed, but unlike Saki he did not kick me in the head, but kicked a hole in lil'ys room) that hit my head and my lip landed on my ipod alarm clock. I hurt it a little bit then stopped so I thought nothing of it. But, later I saw a white line that matched the siding of the ipod alarm clock. I solved the mystery, damn, I was good like encyclopedia brown, damn, but it was scary at the time. Here are some more pics.

Robby and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Night

It was supposed to be a good day. A happy lazy day of movie watching and chilling. I mean Johnny Depp in Sweeney Todd? What could be better than that! Unfortunately, Sweeney Todd was not as great as I thought it was going to be. It was actually kinda boring at times and a lot of the songs I really didn't catch the words. But, don't tell Saki that because I kept telling her I wanted to watch it and it was going to be awesome....and I after the movie I told her it was the best movie I'd ever seen. After that we went home to sleep. Now, Saki can sleep within a minute if she wants to. I CANNOT. It takes me at least thirty minutes before I can sleep even if I am extremely tired. Now, that night after Sweeney Todd I was tired. I mean tired! And I wanted to sleep so bad......but as I was waiting for my thirty minutes to end I kept hearing buzzzzzzzzzzzzing in my ear. And I knew that it was mosquitoes. But I was so tired I was thinking in my head, "Rob, man, just forget it your too tired to turn on the light and get a tissue and run around trying to kill a damn mosquitoe" So I thought some more and thought of the greatest game plan. I would wait until the mosquitoe lands on my head and then I will kill it with my hand without turning on the light or even getting up to get a tissue. The time was 12 a.m. I kept hearing the buzzzzz and I kept swiping at my ear....over and over I would hear the buzzzzzzzzing and I kept smacking my head hoping the buzzzzzzzzzzzing sound would end.......it would not. I finally decided to get up and turn on the light so I could kill that biatch. The time was 1:30 a.m. I turn on the light and go back into bed and so I hear the buzzzzzzzzzz agian. That biatch was on the wall and I killed the biatch. Finally success and sweet sleep was mine. I turn off the lights and go onto the bed. The time is 2:00 a.m. I wait my thirty minutes. I hear more buzzzzzzzzzzing in my ear. Damn you biatch's daughter. I decide to revise my greatest plan. I would let biatch's daughter land on my face and stay there for awhile before I smack her. I wait and wait and smack and smack, with no success. I get up to turn on the lights and lay back on the bed. The time is 2:30 a.m. I kill biatch's daughter. It is 3:00 a.m. I feel so tired, but it is time for my victory smoke. I go out on the balcony and lite up my sweet victory. I take a drag, but something feels not right.......something feels different from all my other victory smokes. I take another drag.....Yes, it definitely feels weird. I look in the glass door to the balcony. I see my lip....I freak out......I wake up Saki and show her my lip........Saki freaks out.......I go to the bathroom so I can see it better.......I freak out some more..........I take some pictures of my lip........I freak out even more.........I look at the pictures I took of my lip.........I am definitely freaked out........It is 3:30 a.m. I don't care anymore I decide to go to sleep.

more pics

a real china man

Taiwan Pics

Here are some pictures so far from Taiwan. There are some pictures of saki's dungeon house, her niece ( we named her Chiquita, like Chiquita banana), and other fun places around Taiwan. Hope you all enjoy!

The Good and the Bad

There are some bright side of things in Taiwan as follows:

1) If you feel like staring at old dirty men drinking Taiwan beer in the morning just step outside your door.
2) If you feel like staring at old dirty women picking up trash along the street just step outside your door.
3) If you feel like eating pigs feet just step outside your door.
4) If you miss your brother, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, family, etc just step outside your door and you them EVERYWHERE
5) Having fun questioning who is a boy and who is a girl here.
6) Tricking the MRT train people by secretly chewing gum without the guards knowing. ( I've fooled them aplenty of times.....suckas)

There are however some downsides as follows which are multiplied by a million when compared to the states:
1) The smell of rotten eggs or a spoiled carton of milk X a million.
2) Getting pushed around by people during holiday shopping X a million on a Tuesday morning.
3) Getting ran at by a crazy dog X a million.
4) Annoying peeps on a cell phone while your having lunch in a restaurant X a million.
5) A loud as hell talker on a bus X a million.
6) Almost getting hit by a car X a million (seriously, its so dangerous and scary, but its like i dont care anymore if i get hit)

Well, thats all I can think of right now......

As for me, I've applied to Taipei American School and been looking at other schools, watching a lot of movies, and sleeping in Saki's cold house. It may literally be colder than lily's house for the fact that there is no heaters in Taiwan and the blankets here are made for oompa loompas. My feet literally dangle from the covers like fred from Fred Clause. I am doing well so far, but I miss everyone and hope your all doing well. Peace Out. Rob.